Make Peace with your Past

If you are struggling to come to terms with a past mistake or error in judgement, maybe it’s time to look at what happened.  Sometimes people cannot move on with life or try something new for fear of failure.  This is often the case in coaching.  Now is the time to make peace with your past. Let it go!

People want to set a goal and chase their dreams, yet something or someone (themselves) holds them back.  Fear is one and the past is another.  Sometimes a person isn’t ready for the goal they are aiming for, or it isn’t the right time.  Think of it as a person who did not get into medicine yet found another career, they were passionate about.  Look at past failures as a learning opportunity.  Often, they will push someone back into line with their life’s purpose.  The past cannot be changed, so learn and review when you need to take a step forward in life.

Reframe the past into a question “What has this mistake or error in judgment taught me?”.

If you hold on too tightly to an outcome and you don’t meet the target, then you automatically tell yourself you have failed.  This is another classic example of someone wanting to lose weight.  If I don’t lose 10 kilos, I have failed.  You may lose 9 kilos and look at the value you have obtained.  More energy, feeling great and having a new wardrobe!

A tip – be prepared

Change the way you respond to a perceived failure.  For example, some people see failure as a numbers game.  “If I go wrong then that’s one failure out of the way”.  Others take a big picture approach.  “Oh well, that didn’t work, what’s next?”.  Then there is another group who are more philosophical.  “That’s not my direction right now, let me review it so I can get back on track”.

When you embark on something new, your mindset is everything.  If you tell yourself it will be difficult, then it will be difficult.  If you say, “This is necessary and I know it’s going to be long, however, the win at the end is more important than the struggle in the middle”.  Have an open and honest conversation with yourself  – “What life do I want to live?”.

Set a simple goal, make it realistic and learn from the past.  There is no failure only feedback.

Choose a mantra

  • You deserve to be happy and enjoy your life.
  • Silence your inner critic and be proud of your accomplishments.
  • Change your language from “I should” to “I want”.
  • Putting yourself first is NOT a bad thing.
  • When something goes wrong, don’t blame yourself, assess the problem first.
  • You are not fundamentally flawed; mistakes happen and life is all about learning.